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Dayna Evans

09/30/14 08:00AM

Filed to: eggs

Is it okay to eat a hard-boiled egg while walking down the street in New York City?

Stenchofaburner Dayna Evans 09/30/14 08:22AM

I don't understand eating and walking at the same time. A cookie or a granola bar while walking? Maybe, depends on how much you are starving while in a rush to get somewhere. Anything else food related? I am a strong believer in taking a small break to actually enjoy whatever it is I am eating. You know, actually taste it. Eating an egg while walking sounds like a recipe for the most awful hiccup ever.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! Dayna Evans 09/30/14 09:29AM

There are many variables. Let's go down the decision tree to find the one acceptable way to eat an egg while walking down a busy NYC street.

1. Is the egg in it's shell?
->YES -> That'z Not Okay
->NO -> Go to Question #2

2. Do you intend to salt or pepper the yolk?
-> YES -> That'z Not Okay
-> NO -> Go to Question #3

3. Do you intend to eat more than 2 eggs?
-> YES -> That'z Not Okay
-> NO -> Go to Question #4

4. Are the eggs Deviled?
-> YES -> That'z Not Okay
-> NO -> Go To Question #5

5. Are they eggs from something other than a chicken?
-> YES -> That'z Not Okay (Exception: Quail Eggs in Lenox Hill)
-> NO -> Go to Question #6

6. Will you be riding the subway on this trip?
-> YES -> That'z Not Okay
-> NO -> Go to Question #7

7. Are you prepared to chuck your snack at anyone who uses that day's cover story of the NY Post to start a debate?
->NO -> That'z Not Okay
-> YES -> That'z Okay!

So there you have it. You can eat hardboiled eggs while walking down a busy NYC street only if they are already out of their shells, don't need to be seasoned, won't eat more than 2 eggs, they aren't deviled, are from a chicken, you won't be on the subway (with egg breath), and you're willing to dispense some high-cholesterol justice along the way.